A Broad Goes Abroad #8: More Than Lucky

A lot of people that I talk to in the U.S. seem to think that Europe is a magical place where problems go to die. That sentiment is very far from being true. Austria is just a country, where stress and bad days exist just as plentifully as they do anywhere else.

With that said, I’d like to talk about the word “lucky” and how—excuse me if I sound a tad bitter here—I am apparently not allowed to have troubles because I am so “lucky” to be studying abroad.

Don’t get me wrong; I know I am incredibly fortunate to have the opportunity to be gallivanting around Europe. While life most certainly isn’t perfect—in fact, it’s quite challenging—I am so grateful to be in Graz, learning and experiencing more than I ever could have expected. However, to brush off my situation as “lucky” is downright offensive for many reasons. Yes, I have a lot of privilege and I’ve been given a lot of help throughout my life that allowed me to make it to Austria this semester, but there are a few other factors that made it possible, too: hard work, sacrifice, and courage. I’m not saying any of this to toot my own horn. In fact, I want everyone with an interest in studying abroad to realize that having the chance isn’t a product of luck. It’s not something that’s just going to happen to you. It’s an opportunity you can earn. It’s also a major adjustment that you have to be committed to.

It’s time for honesty hour. I come from a low-income family and received very little financial assistance from my family for this trip. Instead, I saved money, applied for scholarships, and took out loans to help cover costs. In the sprit of complete candor, I have to admit that I am still in an economically precarious position. I’ve stressed about money a lot since arriving and I’ve tried to be smart with my purchases (though I am not always successful. Oops!). Living in Europe is expensive, especially if you actually want to go out and experience life and culture and other parts of the world. I also don’t know what I’m going to do when I return to the States with an empty bank account, supposed to move across the country to start grad school, but that’s a problem I knew I’d face before leaving the country. I had to decide if the struggle would be worth it. It’s a terrifying predicament, but it has forced me to grow up and learn how to solve my issues.

Studying abroad can also be horrendously lonely, especially at first. I have a lot of co-dependency issues with my friends. I was used to doing almost everything with my close friends and seeing them pretty much every day. It has been difficult to see my friends hang out without me or invite each other places I can’t go. Honestly, my friends could pass each other in the hall and I’d get jealous. What makes it worse is that I also struggle with social anxiety. I’ve made new friends now, but I’ve also spent many nights alone in my room wishing I had someone to spend time with. Even still, it’s hard when my best friend has a play or an important interview or has accomplished something fantastic and I’m not there to lend support, and being seven hours ahead means I’m usually asleep for most of their day.

There are a lot of other struggles and sacrifices, too. I’m graduating later than anticipated. I miss my cat. I’ve reverted to living in a dorm after sharing an apartment with my best friend. I can’t eat some of my favorite foods. I had a hard time picking which grad school I wanted to go to because I couldn’t visit the campuses. I could go on and on and on. A lot of these may seem little, but when you add them all together they create something bigger.

It is important for me to note that nothing could make me regret my decision to study abroad. I adore my classes and my free time and the culture and the growth I’ve already experienced. I am thrilled to be here, but I also refuse to be dismissed as merely “lucky” because that not only diminishes my accomplishments and my struggles, but it sends the wrong idea to people who dream of studying abroad.

It is tough. It was tough before leaving, it was tough upon arrival, and it will remain tough, because life is tough no matter where you live, but it is amazing and if you want to study abroad, you can make it happen and you will revel in the days you spend abroad, both the good and the bad.